A Key to Handling Strong Emotions and Conflict Gracefully

Recognize Other Perspectives to Reduce Drama 

Are you able to hold two distinct and very different emotions in mind at the same time? This skill – which can be learned – helps improve emotional intelligence and reduces unnecessary drama in your life.

The idea stems from understanding that disagreements aren’t about someone being right and someone being wrong. We all have unique perspectives shaped by our backgrounds and knowledge. Most conflicts result from misunderstandings rather than intentional harm. Recognizing this can help lower emotional intensity.

For example, let’s say you strongly disagree with a decision made by your boss or company. Can you feel frustrated while also recognizing that your boss or company generally makes good decisions? If you believe they act with good intentions, this single difference of opinion doesn’t define them as wrong or bad. It also doesn’t mean the decision was wrong or bad. Consider the possibility that they know information that you don’t and the fact that making decisions is complex. Even if the decision doesn’t pan out, it doesn’t mean malice or incompetence was involved.

The same principle applies to personal relationships. Let’s say your partner does something that deeply hurts you. This doesn’t automatically mean they are a bad partner or that the relationship is doomed. Likely, they didn’t realize their actions would hurt you. Instead of escalating, consider the possibility of ignorance or misunderstanding, especially if this isn’t a repetitive behavior.

Here’s my challenge for you: When faced with strong emotions or dramatic situations, practice holding two opposing thoughts or feelings at the same time. Acknowledge your emotions but also allow space for alternative explanations or perspectives.

Once you’ve processed your feelings, approach the other person with curiosity rather than blame. Ask questions like, “Can you help me understand why this decision was made?” or “Can we find a way to avoid this in the future now that you understand my perspective?”

This practice helps build emotional resilience, strengthens relationships, and creates space for constructive conversations. I hope this helps you navigate emotions with greater clarity and ease. Take care.