Embracing Imperfection

Why Striving for 'Awesome' Beats Perfectionism

I've worked with many wonderful people who have been plagued by perfectionism. I want to talk about how to get over that. This might be hard to hear if you're a perfectionist, but perfectionism is illogical. It just doesn't make sense. I say this as someone who used to be truly, truly a perfectionist. What I have found over the years is that there is no such thing as perfect. What's perfect to you is not necessarily perfect to your boss, supervisor, or partner. The person you're trying to be or the product you are trying to put out is your interpretation and belief of what perfect is, which doesn't make it empirically so. 

You may hear someone say, "I was the perfect spouse or partner, and this person still left me." The reality is it just didn’t work out. But if you want to talk in terms of perfect, maybe perfect for them meant something different from what you were aiming to achieve. 

I'll give an example from some years back. I worked with a wonderful person who was very good at her domain. However, she had total “paralysis by analysis” and couldn't finish her projects. We had quarterly projects, and she just couldn't complete hers. Of course, I tried to coach her, but ultimately the issue was that she didn't want to put out anything until it was perfect. Even with help, her quarterly goals would usually take a year to complete. She was completely paralyzed by perfectionism, even though her version of perfect wasn’t what her boss or the company wanted or needed. Our version of perfect was wanting specific handbooks to be released, and we could always make changes later, but it was taking too long. 

Perfect is wonderful, and if you can all agree on what perfect looks like, you can put it out there, but that doesn't need to be your first goal. If someone is telling you, "We need this by this date," do your absolute best to get it by that date. What I would say to someone – like my kids or a colleague – is that being perfect is not really the goal; instead, be awesome because you can't really fail at aiming to be awesome. Every day, try to do a better job and be a better version of yourself. If you're just going around life asking, "How could I be even better today? I just want to be awesome!" then you don't have to worry about being perfect because you're doing the best you can. 

I recently did a video called "Don't Make a Plan B," and it's the same idea: put something out there, do something, get feedback, and then pivot. Maybe you are planning how to run your department, and you think it's good, but it might not be perfect. No, of course, it's not. The people you share the plan with will have their own opinions, and you'll pivot based on that. It's an iterative process. If I could teach anyone a thought process, it would be iterative. Just go in, do something, pivot based on feedback, pivot again based on feedback, and pivot again based on results. It's cool. Just keep on trucking, and that's it. I know it sounds like I'm making light of perfectionism as a thought process, but I'm not. It's debilitating, and it is very, very difficult. I just really want to encourage you that if you are a perfectionist, just start with the thought that maybe perfect doesn't even exist, and that you will just do your best. That is the best you can do. I hope you do great.